Family COMMUNion

I've tried to write this blog 3 times now.  Let's see if I can manage…. Inappropriate Statements/Questions that have been asked of "someone" attempting to facilitate a community that is based on New Testament Teaching: "Let me see a floor plan and I'll think about it." "You need to do this someplace warm.  I don't like the cold." "Who's funding this?" "Will there be internet?" "Hasn't this already been done?" "Bad people will ruin it all." "We're going to worship A LOT?? Won't that get boring??" "I hope we sing the good songs." "Can I leave if I want to?" FIRST OF ALL: NO ONE is doing me a favor by signing up for the community that is STILL in my head. Furthermore, I never asked anyone to sign up but I am allowed to think out loud. I'm not requesting your participation or your funding…I'm simply describing what I believe to

Do you know who you are? You're not what they said You're not what you said either Do you know how much we need you? The giftings you posses? The destiny you've been given? Do you get it? Do you know who you are? Do you realize that there's not a single person you know or know of that is a worthless person? You're here because Someone decided You should be

Is there ever a reason to run like your life depends on it? Maybe…if your life does.

Something that is only a feeling Something that leads to healing A pain that tugs me back to where I've been a call to ponder where I was and when The way to remind  I'm not as whole as I thought a hook, a barb that burns each time I'm caught The cause for unexplainable behavior the most likely reason I will waiver The effect of daring to pursue a dream believing things are exactly as they seem And I wrestle with regret…… If there's an explanation it has to be trusting in something less than my Master. I cannot believe that love is ever wasted. I cannot believe that trusting humanity is something I should never do.  I can believe that assuming that anyone can handle my heart but my Savior is a failure that leads to regret. Yet, I find myself believing this very thing…so foolishly, even wistfully , and I always end up in the same place; aching, burning, tossing in the night and hurting in the day and I remind myself why, or maybe H

Make me a home with your language a haven, a place free of anguish Your far away actions engage me Your chivalrous heart has upstaged me And I'm not afraid and I can't remember the illogical plan or the crazy endeavor I only know the place I'm at now Watching and waiting Wrestling with "how" Ignoring all judgment I know who I am you catch my gaze and turn it to Him And praying for covenant Hoping again and dare to acknowledge the human I am The woman I am when no one else sees Your honesty claims me compels me to please To honor the passion uphold the ambition to honor and cherish and learn sweet submission Pour myself out You pour yourself in And hold me and love me and draw me to Him And making me pray and insisting you'll stay and steadily sweeping my doubts far away A voice unexpected Tender and sweet Laughter that soothes me and fills me with peace Fight through the struggle

It's hard for me sometimes to understand why people don't think like me.  I think my greatest weakness as a participant in society is being unable to relate to others perspectives, especially in matters of the heart.  The older I get, the more things seem "cut and dry" to me.  I don't understand the "whys" or the "hows" much of the time but I do understand the precedent.  I understand what God wants versus what we want and why we want it and why He wants something different for us and from us. You see, life is a continuum.  It is not a finite escapade.  We ARE eternal beings. When you view things in a circular fashion, as in; the universe, the world, love, relationship, existence, well you see that we're never out of chances.  Indeed, even if we don't want to take those chances they still present themselves over and over and over again. I want to be specific because one thing I do understand is that sometimes my thought process is har

I wouldn't I couldn't I'm not No, never I shouldn't Don't ask me Please stop Not ever I gave up I stood back I questioned the end I held out I stood up I backed you my friend And Never, I'd swear I didn't miss you I'm sure we'd not met The lips that wouldn't kiss you The eyes that never wept and peace amidst the fodder and joy that drowns the pain Forever. It's better but never, no never. and tell me how it ends hold me where it hurts the garden your love tends the sweetness of your words withhold all your amnesty for wounds I never caused justice such a travesty bound by human laws and I can't let you ever… but you say; "Oh, no! No! Never." and gently you assuage me My reach for you enrage me And see my hope! Engage me.. in all you claim is Truth You shouldn't Don't dare You will and I'll let you You couldn't Beware of all that w

No more quiet comfort  No more sweetened words rounded edge of hunger softened pain of hurts He is coming for me. No more standing in the ring while others watch the fray note the blows it brings and try to have their say He is coming for me Turning down the lights Mopping blood up from the floor no more sleepless nights no more knocking at my door but He is coming for me. They won't circle in to hedge the wounded They won't stand up tall to hide my pain They won't fight em off with shields and armor, The weapons they've been given though I've been stripped of mine the battle they still live in  while they insist they're fine is more than they can take with all those wiley blows and so my mind can understand but it is my heart that knows... My Warrior has seen my shame and HE is coming for me He'll ride in with a fervor and rip me from the clutches He'll storm in like the thunder

When I was a little girl I used to look at people's eyes I used to stare and see straight to the place the heart cries I was young and unaware I thought everyone saw these things I'd group people in my head the way their eyes look as their hearts sing Some are silent, their eyes are dead I realized these things when I was young I can't see them now that I'm strong save the days I'm one- on -one and recognize where I belong Certain eyes resemble mine the fight is real, the struggle alive And I am drawn to the evil assigned but wise enough now to know how to thrive I see certain demons pursue an attack adultery, addiction, seduction and lies Some flee the pursuit and some will fight back The wise ones will stand and let faith arise And sometimes we falter and let the shield drop and others are hooked and latched onto like wolves to cattle and those of us trusting ask Him how to stop and those that are trapped will die in the battle I

Find it. He's a liar made out like his father Reminded of a tyrant posing as a donor Dreaming as he squanders believing all he ponders drinking in the flattery and the subject matter wanders Sipping bitter wine pearls before the swine Say we're at the party and hope that we'll be fine Lust makes you a drunken fool and use Love as your binding tool and all the while you say my name and I retain my cool…you fool empty life empty wife you used up cheater left with strife your nature eats you whole your master claims his goal and deep inside you suffer sin must take its toll discard this fist of treasure for brief moments of pleasure sand falls through clenched fingers the hand you chose you measure All is lost count the cost you're a cheater and I retain my cool you FOOL! JM 2015 Don't waste what is holy on people who are unholy.  Don't throw your pearls to pigs! They will trample the pearls, then turn and attack you.  Ma

There's a place upon His chest I see my face there, often The line of his jaw where its angled and strong The place where his pulse beats the warmth of his breath falls There's a place upon his chest where I can lay my cheek Where my forehead softly rests and I hear his heart beat A place upon his chest I'm not afraid to go to He'll always take me there and never pull away He's never tense or slow to hold me His grip is strong His arms enfold me In A place upon His chest Sometimes my eyes are open I look around and see the struggle I nestle in as time unravels As chaos looms and darkness grows As voices chatter and problems matter My tears fall soft and His hold tightens My hopes are safe My courage heightens In that place upon His chest There's times my eyes are closed To block out all this crazy mess to just be still and know There's love upon that shoulder and fragrance in His hold The sweetness