Family COMMUNion

You devilish brute I cannot understand you Sometimes you seem a complete alien to me like a creature from another planet gruff and grating in the voice but with a softness around the eyes and a loud and often foul mouth that betrays your strong exterior and makes you susceptible to your ever-brooding sinful nature. You cave to that nature more than most women...or maybe you are less capable of hiding it than we are.   Lies have never suited men as well as they do women, but that doesn't keep them from foolishly trying over and over again.  You've lost my trust and for very, very good reason. You can't even tell when you lie anymore. You don't even notice. an exterior that seems almost animal-like...with the rough beard that can wound a woman's delicate skin if she gets close enough to try to see and feel who you really are, as if for protection from a beast, or a prodding heart, or an empathetic tenderness, lest your eyes betray your weakness onc

Shame has a definition.   It's the effect of sin Shame claims an identity.  It belongs to each of us Shame holds its prisoners.  It rarely lets go Shame is rarely honest.   It most always lies And when it lies….we call it pride Pride is what we do when people get too close to our shame.  It's what we do. Bonhoeffer said that shame is evident when a man won't meet another man's gaze…or rather when he refuses to hold that gaze.  He looks away. He's ashamed. Shame is the first sin.  It's the original sin.  It's what made Adam and Eve hide in the garden.  It's what made them cover themselves with the skin of animals.  It's what kicked them out of Eden and it's what happened when they ate from the tree.  It IS the knowledge of good and evil.  It's knowing the difference. Shame makes us suffer with ourselves.  It makes us hurt, deceive, abuse and even kill those who get to close to seeing what we are or who we really are. Shame is

The things I've said have shaken me the things I've done left me cracked and dented The love I gave has awakened me as I realize my gift is defected and but one sees my quiet world the shadowed universe I live in Where all my darkness follows me and guilt is all I'm given And I turn on my heel as I pray for your forgiveness And I beg not to steal one more moment of indifference Where I've been has taken me I cannot reclaim what's relented My words reveal my inner pain the wounds I thought were mended Radiant dreams and colored visions I tried to cover up my grayland but oil shades and watery derisions only stained my blatant statement I am not the beauty I painted to be I haven't ability to see as You see My mirror is refracted I've seen me as I am The covenant detracted in the image of a man Where I go is changing me I reflect no counter Who I am is haunting me Grace my meager fodder Providence espouse me no m