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  When I was before I'd been I wrote it down marked blue in pen Reminding me of oaths I swore the "who" I was would be no more Years have past since now was then I look back at me now and again I'm really not a mystery not so intriguing I've stayed me The recollection makes me sick I fight to find what makes me tick and I waste time in revelry the worship made for only thee Disdain the patterned path I've found behind the pride I've built around the more I hate the less of me as I dissect the self you see And I despise.... the horror of... I close my eyes, the plaintiveness of wounded sighs Past attacks with mortal blows Present mocks as future glows the flesh grieves what the spirit knows all that gleams is not what grows... JMM 2012 “No eye has seen, no ear has heard,     and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.” it was to us that God revealed these things by his Spirit. For his Spirit searches out everything and shows us Go