SOMETIMES
It's hard for me sometimes to understand why people don't think like me. I think my greatest weakness as a participant in society is being unable to relate to others perspectives, especially in matters of the heart. The older I get, the more things seem "cut and dry" to me. I don't understand the "whys" or the "hows" much of the time but I do understand the precedent. I understand what God wants versus what we want and why we want it and why He wants something different for us and from us. You see, life is a continuum. It is not a finite escapade. We ARE eternal beings. When you view things in a circular fashion, as in; the universe, the world, love, relationship, existence, well you see that we're never out of chances. Indeed, even if we don't want to take those chances they still present themselves over and over and over again.
I want to be specific because one thing I do understand is that sometimes my thought process is hard to understand and that for some weird reason (that I don't understand) that makes some people angry. As I study music theory more and more this past year, I realize that music is like math. It is infinite…circular…like everything else God created. There are infinite ways to look at the same process and when you understand that they are all connected in the process you can take those infinite combinations and make something beautiful or make something chaotic and confusing and even disturbing. All of the concepts in music can be used to create, to compose and to solve a musical complexity that can become pleasing to the ear. If you don't understand how to apply the concepts then anything beautiful you create is just an accident…a conglomeration of sounds. It is hard to have something beautiful that you don't understand…something you never meant to create. After a while that "thing" frustrates you..maybe even births a little jealousy on the inside of you. Why must I admire something or someone that I cannot understand? As a younger woman I used to write music like this; songs with no real endings…words that haunted me that I couldn't conclude….a story I wanted to tell but I just didn't really know what it was about. I saw this in my marriage….something a man had a part in but never meant to…something he couldn't understand why he was there for and it began to eat at him. He didn't even know it was inside himself. He had all these concepts that he presented and we made something out of them…but for him it seemed an accident. He couldn't understand how he did it, even though he was trying, at first. He never understood what was in him in the first place and that is why it turned bad in the end. Beauty for which he could find no resolution, no understanding and therefore the inability to embrace what God wanted it to become…and it faded, but it will come back around. For me, it already has.
Last week, I taught a lesson to a student. She is only 11. We were charting a pop song and I was explaining to her how the relative minors of the major chords in the piece kept following them up over and over and how very exciting that was in real life. She looked very confused. I said: "Have you ever seen something or someone that is so beautiful it's almost ugly (like George Clooney's new wife? except I didn't say that part). Or how about love that was so strong it was just one false move away from hate? I heard her dad laughing at me in the kitchen. I'm just glad he was laughing. Maybe that's a little deep for an 11 year old but it's true about everything in life. You see, we have the ability to cross that line in everything. There IS a circle and even when something goes terribly wrong in a relationship it WILL come back around. You will have another chance. Most people don't take it. Most people don't.
Think of the people that hate you. I know a few that hate me. That relationship WILL come back around. You will have the chance to change that. I think of this in myself as a woman. I did not start out beautiful (at least not to anyone but my mother). I was naked and red (actually purple and yellow) with gangly legs and covered in the refuse of birth. I grew into an adorable little girl but as I entered the teenage years I went through that awkward teen/preteen stage (I have the terrible pictures). I blossomed but as I entered the marriage and childbirth years I became what I used to call "a public utility". I was functional…not beautiful. I became less of me and more stationary. I was close to "ugly" on the outside (though my beauty to my family was evident) but on the inside I was growing, ripening…turning into something about to blossom. I did not even know it. At the risk of sounding arrogant, I find that in this time of my life I am more beautiful than I have ever been. I have blossomed..after all those years of just "functioning". I know that it will change…that it will come full circle. The beauty of that is that where one "beauty" fades away another replaces it and so is the continuum of life. I like to believe that the circles are "ever-widening" I think God does things in every bigger circles until they culminate in a endless circle called "eternity". This means that the stages of my "Beauty" can only get better every time they come around. I use this example only so that you'll understand. I think it's easies to use an example that is visible to those who know me and have known me. It is true of every woman..not just me. You just have to know her.
It is the same with love and hate. It is the same with success and failure. It is the same with every paradox you can imagine. It belongs in the seasons of our relationships with the Lord and with each other. You see, this cannot help you unless you recognize it. If you realize that in the times the "beauty" in your life is fading that you are "glowing" in other ways….if you recognize that whatever fades will come back around again? You can approach the opportunity and embrace it. Better yet, you can look at others and you can see the same thing in them and in their relationships with you. I sometimes look at people that seem unattractive on the outside and wonder what sort of beauty is growing on their insides or how it filters out of their lives. I've seen it when I've cared to look.
The point of this post is to encourage perspective and not close mindedness. Take some time to analyze what is not right with your life or in the lives around you. It will change. How it changes depends on how you approach it (when it comes back around). Sometimes, we avoid opportunity because we don't see it..because we're not looking, because we can't see the hope of it, the faith God put there. You will be beautiful again. If you are beautiful now, it will go away. The person you hate, you will not hate forever. You can pretend if you want to but hate is not a lasting sentiment….only love is, if it's real. The things that Christ has created are eternal and THAT is why the continuum works. Everything He did not make has a finite end. You see, hate dies, failure is temporary, what is ugly only needs to be restored to its original state (beauty). RELATIONSHIP is eternal. Take the chances…embrace the continuum. Sometimes all these things work together..and if you LOVE the Lord? If you know what LOVE is? The chances are endless.
P.S. If I don't make any sense to you in this post, please don't be angry. In a matter of time, the continuum will come back around and I'll take advantage of it and expect to make you love me. It'll be awkward for you if you're pretending to "hate". ;)
JM 2015
And we know that God causes everything to work together[m] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. 29 For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn[n] among many brothers and sisters. 30 And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory.- Romans 8:28
I want to be specific because one thing I do understand is that sometimes my thought process is hard to understand and that for some weird reason (that I don't understand) that makes some people angry. As I study music theory more and more this past year, I realize that music is like math. It is infinite…circular…like everything else God created. There are infinite ways to look at the same process and when you understand that they are all connected in the process you can take those infinite combinations and make something beautiful or make something chaotic and confusing and even disturbing. All of the concepts in music can be used to create, to compose and to solve a musical complexity that can become pleasing to the ear. If you don't understand how to apply the concepts then anything beautiful you create is just an accident…a conglomeration of sounds. It is hard to have something beautiful that you don't understand…something you never meant to create. After a while that "thing" frustrates you..maybe even births a little jealousy on the inside of you. Why must I admire something or someone that I cannot understand? As a younger woman I used to write music like this; songs with no real endings…words that haunted me that I couldn't conclude….a story I wanted to tell but I just didn't really know what it was about. I saw this in my marriage….something a man had a part in but never meant to…something he couldn't understand why he was there for and it began to eat at him. He didn't even know it was inside himself. He had all these concepts that he presented and we made something out of them…but for him it seemed an accident. He couldn't understand how he did it, even though he was trying, at first. He never understood what was in him in the first place and that is why it turned bad in the end. Beauty for which he could find no resolution, no understanding and therefore the inability to embrace what God wanted it to become…and it faded, but it will come back around. For me, it already has.
Last week, I taught a lesson to a student. She is only 11. We were charting a pop song and I was explaining to her how the relative minors of the major chords in the piece kept following them up over and over and how very exciting that was in real life. She looked very confused. I said: "Have you ever seen something or someone that is so beautiful it's almost ugly (like George Clooney's new wife? except I didn't say that part). Or how about love that was so strong it was just one false move away from hate? I heard her dad laughing at me in the kitchen. I'm just glad he was laughing. Maybe that's a little deep for an 11 year old but it's true about everything in life. You see, we have the ability to cross that line in everything. There IS a circle and even when something goes terribly wrong in a relationship it WILL come back around. You will have another chance. Most people don't take it. Most people don't.
Think of the people that hate you. I know a few that hate me. That relationship WILL come back around. You will have the chance to change that. I think of this in myself as a woman. I did not start out beautiful (at least not to anyone but my mother). I was naked and red (actually purple and yellow) with gangly legs and covered in the refuse of birth. I grew into an adorable little girl but as I entered the teenage years I went through that awkward teen/preteen stage (I have the terrible pictures). I blossomed but as I entered the marriage and childbirth years I became what I used to call "a public utility". I was functional…not beautiful. I became less of me and more stationary. I was close to "ugly" on the outside (though my beauty to my family was evident) but on the inside I was growing, ripening…turning into something about to blossom. I did not even know it. At the risk of sounding arrogant, I find that in this time of my life I am more beautiful than I have ever been. I have blossomed..after all those years of just "functioning". I know that it will change…that it will come full circle. The beauty of that is that where one "beauty" fades away another replaces it and so is the continuum of life. I like to believe that the circles are "ever-widening" I think God does things in every bigger circles until they culminate in a endless circle called "eternity". This means that the stages of my "Beauty" can only get better every time they come around. I use this example only so that you'll understand. I think it's easies to use an example that is visible to those who know me and have known me. It is true of every woman..not just me. You just have to know her.
It is the same with love and hate. It is the same with success and failure. It is the same with every paradox you can imagine. It belongs in the seasons of our relationships with the Lord and with each other. You see, this cannot help you unless you recognize it. If you realize that in the times the "beauty" in your life is fading that you are "glowing" in other ways….if you recognize that whatever fades will come back around again? You can approach the opportunity and embrace it. Better yet, you can look at others and you can see the same thing in them and in their relationships with you. I sometimes look at people that seem unattractive on the outside and wonder what sort of beauty is growing on their insides or how it filters out of their lives. I've seen it when I've cared to look.
The point of this post is to encourage perspective and not close mindedness. Take some time to analyze what is not right with your life or in the lives around you. It will change. How it changes depends on how you approach it (when it comes back around). Sometimes, we avoid opportunity because we don't see it..because we're not looking, because we can't see the hope of it, the faith God put there. You will be beautiful again. If you are beautiful now, it will go away. The person you hate, you will not hate forever. You can pretend if you want to but hate is not a lasting sentiment….only love is, if it's real. The things that Christ has created are eternal and THAT is why the continuum works. Everything He did not make has a finite end. You see, hate dies, failure is temporary, what is ugly only needs to be restored to its original state (beauty). RELATIONSHIP is eternal. Take the chances…embrace the continuum. Sometimes all these things work together..and if you LOVE the Lord? If you know what LOVE is? The chances are endless.
P.S. If I don't make any sense to you in this post, please don't be angry. In a matter of time, the continuum will come back around and I'll take advantage of it and expect to make you love me. It'll be awkward for you if you're pretending to "hate". ;)
JM 2015
And we know that God causes everything to work together[m] for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. 29 For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn[n] among many brothers and sisters. 30 And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory.- Romans 8:28
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