FEAR

Think of all the reasons I cannot stand alone
The weariness that finds me even when I'm home
the guilt of feeling greedy
the ache that leaves me needy


Never pegged me desperate
would never beg and plead 
my world, each day more temperate
they watch me slowly bleed

Everything they tell me
never did what doesn't
with empty words they quell me
and I pray for all that wasn't


I paint His name on choices
and see His face in voices
and wonder If I know Him

Wonder where He went
I'm pliable and spent
I'm used and I am taken
Refused and I'm forsaken


Phased by weak's critique
Beat by pride's attack
Retreat as though I'm meek
And grasp the knife that's in my back

I thought we had a deal
This part I wouldn't have to feel
This was a temporary stage
Forever ago You turned the page.

Still stuck in the chapter
lost in the verse
the "happy ever after"
is the part we didn't rehearse

Facing things that I know are to come
Alone and unready, it has me undone
No strength to regal me
if only they knew
I'm weakened, I'm empty….ripped right on through.

No one left 
No one but me
a small hidden life that no one can see

A single tear
on a face that frames fear

You've finally found me. Finally.

JM 2016











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