A Look Inside The Nutcase
So if you haven't guessed, this blog is about the Commune. There are too many people that think I'm joking, too many people that think I'm confused, A number that think I'm retarded and several that think I belong in the looney bin. It's time all of you made an INFORMED decision!
Honestly, this "commune" has been in my heart for a very long time. It was not a necessity then, but now it is. I haven't wanted to blog. There is too much that cannot be said and one knows that you can always count on me to say it once I open my big mouth. So I cannot write about me, not now anyways. There is too much inside of me that is not pleasant for the viewing but it will not always be so. I have always trusted the Great Physician and there is no heart surgery too complicated for Him. I will come out whole.
In the meantime, I must let you see what's inside this noggin'. I may seem irrational, but I am not. I may seem illogical but I assure you it is an illusion. There is not a moment I am not asking questions or looking for answers or creating ideas. I am becoming a child again and this can only mean good things in the long run. Children do not care about the pointless arguments adults have. Children do not waste senseless amounts of time with angry words and loud noises. Children's hurt feelings are easily mended. Children find newness in the "same old, same old" over and over again. Most importantly, children LOVE and FORGIVE with a patience and determination that's astounding. These are all the things I wish to be. Pain has been the greatest shaper I have ever had and I am starting to become just a little bit of each of these at a a time.
It is hard for me to write without rhyming and creating. I see a blank page and I want to paint a rhythm and picture with words. Perhaps it is the musician in me or maybe it is the writer or the artist or all three. Regardless, I shall try not to use this as a canvas but rather as a story not of my past and not of my present but of the future.
The crazy thing about the future is that it is completely unpredictable. My life is held in the hands of One who knows everything it holds, but I truly believe that I see glimpses, finally, of what He's called me to. Like the pieces of a giant puzzle I cannot find where they fit yet. They show up in my dreams or in a setting I somehow recognize. They call out to me from a quiet moment with the evening sky or the sound of the waves on a sandy beach. I remember a place I've never been or a face I've never touched, not just with my eyes, but with my hands and my heart. So I cannot predict this future, but I can hold these pieces in my hands and wait to see where the good Lord will put them. Perhaps He will pull them out of the current picture and put them into something new all together. I just don't know.
Here are my pieces. I very much want you to consider being a part of my story. Perhaps you will recognize a piece of yours in a piece of mine. Perhaps that is what this is all about. Perhaps the home you've been longing for will be next to mine or perhaps this daydream is simply our little glimpse of what eternity will look like. I am not naive enough to think that this society could look anything like a utopia, but I AM enraptured enough by my Savior to think that His plan has ALWAYS been the best one and if we could pin down these "temporary trappings" long enough we could actually look like what He asked us to look like over 2000 years ago. I really believe that all the things the world said would please me only stole from me. Truly, obedience is the hardest, most painful choice. Truly, hardship and pain for the cause of Christ are the ONLY road to happiness that is found in this life. You cannot serve him without finding all of these realities...nor can you find true happiness without serving Him.
If you agree, indulge in my daydream. If you do not, then observe and it is possible you MAY change your mind!
Crackin' open the SHELL!!! Welcome to the COMMUNE!
For the record, I never thought you were joking. And I'm still interested. But it's going to have to happen a little closer to where it's warmer for me to sign up....
ReplyDeleteI'll bring the pierogies, you bring the cheese.
In my life thee have been few constants, even fewer certainties.
ReplyDeleteSince I was a child I have thought that much could be solved by like minded people living in community with one another, with like morals, values and goals. To share life with someone is the greatest commandment in my mind. It is to love the Lord our God and to Love our neighbor as ourselves. It is to make disciples and to serve as the examples, not only to the world but to each other as well. It is to face the ugliness of our flesh and to deny ourselves. Only great things can come from living in community.
When you sit at a table with a person that you have only had one previous conversation with and yet you look into their eyes and without a thought recognize someone you have known your entire life. When you dream and it seems like life. When that dream comes true. It seems sorta like deja vu and yet its all around you. You are driving through a town that you have never been to, yet you cross a bridge and remember it.
I cannot explain these things that happen. So I will indulge in your daydream.