Family COMMUNion

 Mind, Mind stop torturing me The games that you play just won't let me be Lost in the whirlwind of lies that I've told Afraid that sin's curtain has left this room cold These thoughts that plague me call this blind man's bluff Perhaps I've gone crazy or I'm not good enough Mind, Mind leave me alone For where darkness lies sin creates clones and I'm much too timid turn on the light The atmosphere's frigid but I'm safe in the night and I can still hold You where no one will see me The more that I know you the better I see me Mind, Mind May I be so bold To ask you to leave me lest love waxes cold? I'll think with my heart and pray for Your grace to tear me apart but still hide my face And never let go of that which is good! I sometimes hold on but only You could;  erase my shame, force me into light Yet who can I blame when I've picked my own fight? Maybe You'll see me since I'm sure I won't Maybe You'll free me unless I say: ...

  When I was before I'd been I wrote it down marked blue in pen Reminding me of oaths I swore the "who" I was would be no more Years have past since now was then I look back at me now and again I'm really not a mystery not so intriguing I've stayed me The recollection makes me sick I fight to find what makes me tick and I waste time in revelry the worship made for only thee Disdain the patterned path I've found behind the pride I've built around the more I hate the less of me as I dissect the self you see And I despise.... the horror of... I close my eyes, the plaintiveness of wounded sighs Past attacks with mortal blows Present mocks as future glows the flesh grieves what the spirit knows all that gleams is not what grows... JMM 2012 “No eye has seen, no ear has heard,     and no mind has imagined what God has prepared for those who love him.” it was to us that God revealed these things by his Spirit. For his Spirit searches out everything and shows us Go...

You never thought you'd lose your voice How quickly he took it away  Your silence replaced with liquor and noise The game you swore you'd never play You laid down your life to hold on forever a duty filled wife you thought you were clever bound to a man, controlled by his tether You sweet foolish girl! Never say never And then in the darkness you fought off his hand Swallowing shame and drinking his lies Taking the blame for his failed plan He laughed at your pain and dismissed your cries Never make a promise you can't keep Never let the others see you weak Never let the enemy see you asleep Never need permission just to speak And left on a lonely road there in the freezing night the drunkenness the loneliness the will you'd lose to fight There in the dark waiting for rescue reality stark this moment's to test you Never hurt the children Never risk your life Never force his will. Then, he'll never wield "the knife" The future before you The next forty ...

When this pain defines me When this ache won't end The words you've left remind me That you're not gone, my friend. I cannot hear your laughter I cannot see your face I cannot find an answer For why you've left this place But when the darkness grips us And as you embrace the light When the shadows trick us As we stumble through this night Somehow we can see you Through all you've taught us here Truly, we believe you And it frees our hearts from fear When I peel potatoes (small ones) or when I fold a fitted sheet When I sing about the angels When I put my boys to sleep When I struggle with contentment When I'm burdened by my work When I fight with the resentment of putting others first Your spirit shines so brightly It magnifies your words You didn't live here lightly What you said was heard When I'm singing at the piano When I'm dancing all alone When I'm looking out the window and longing for my Home When I breathe a prayer at lunchtime or as I ...

I'm not gonna tell you 'Cause you're not gonna know I'm not gonna hold you 'Cause then you just can't grow I'm gonna leave you to learn for yourself There's some things that I can't give you Some ways that I can't help I remember being younger All the things I thought I'd know My friends and I? We sang about "the art of letting go." Then? I cared what people thought It trapped me in my life Then?  It seemed the most important things were Grownup, Mother, Wife I'm going to grit my teeth I'm going to brave the pain I may forget to breathe I may again forget I'm sane I'll have to watch the joyride before the sudden stop and when no one else is on your side I'll pray to help you off and when I nurse the wounds that those "reckless foolish" bring and when the pride that ruins breaks down every thing When forgiveness finds you when mercies quench my tears They say...

When I was seven and rocked my dolly I begged and prayed to become your mommy If God would just bring that doll to life I'd be your mom, and I'd be His wife I was sure we were ready to be together I'm your mom and I've loved you forever Notes passed on a school day Saved in dresser drawers Playbills saved from school plays love notes and dried flowers I saved them and I wondered what it is you'd say My teenage self would ponder if you'd share those parts of me one day I struggled with anger, frustration and pride I'd run and I'd bottle my pain up inside I ached with the battle to grow up and be strong I had the hardest time learning it's okay to be wrong I dreamed of your birth; hoped you'd handle things better I'm still your mom and I've loved you forever I grew strong and travelled I saw many things As my life unravelled I tried out my wings I fought hard to see you to know me through your eyes I prayed for...

Brave the sorrow, brave the cold Stave tomorrow's frozen hold Sodden beauty, ice's crystal Winter's duty, evil's fistule Deaden all these dreams Turn what's warm to cold Refract shallow beams Winter's grip is bold Give the life to let it rest trust that Father knows what's best Tears that freeze upon my face bitter journey, coldest place linking all these memories whitened hope from darkest stain bitter chill to ward off enemies No regret to kill cold's pain I'm skating here I'm flailing here Angel warm me with your glow let your light be Truth I know Crying in the interim Nearly silent, standing strong Holding all this winter in Lest I find out I've been wrong Angel help me. Sing your song I've been faithful for so long Perhaps it's in my blatant sin the weakness hidden deep within Do you deprive me of your mercy? You see how hard it's been The pleasure they find when they hurt me?...

I miss you every moment I miss you by the hour penance and atonement my heart a fading flower Salt and pepper softness the callous of your hand I knew that Love would cost this but I still don't understand The throaty softened chuckle that sweet lopsided grin the way you passed your knuckle from my jawline to my chin Memories brief and fleeting The things I choose to hold While I lay here bleeding in the place love's left me, cold Missing, I am missing I've lost my half of me all that time just wishing for what would never be I wish you were stronger I wish I had been brave I'd have held you longer I'd never learn to cave Missing, I am listless Alone and I'm ashamed hurting and I'm driftless Certain I've been framed Please bring back what's broken Please just let me have it I was far too open and now I cannot stand it Missing, I am missing Looking to find me In all the worn...

"For the BROKEN Body" It's in the grimace of his jaw the steel within his eyes its in the slightest flinch I saw whilst noting his demise it's in his open apathy as others hurt and bleed he wears the mark of misery a dam of pain besieged Compared to truth his confidence appears to be a fake he wears his rags as righteousness but all for pity's sake In dreams he rescues maidens In heart, he breaks the curse but fear it leaves him brazen and worry leaves him worse He struggles with reality I fear it leave him cold He'll fight with his mortality  before he's grown old Here, I thought her safely the twinkle in her eye the quiet breaths of laughter the deep contented sigh It seemed that in her age, she'd found a safer place She almost had me comforted. She'd nearly built my case The simplest of moments her loss it dared to show I'd barely chance to notice shame she'd come to know It finds her quiet often It holds her in its clutches the k...

Driven through with blurring seams Pages bound with sodden reams strangely laced with dirty themes All that's golden bravely gleams Body marked and heart that's torn Promise raped, allegiance sworn Fatal wound to all that's born A time to weep a time to mourn Fight against revenge's snare Dine-in love seems meager fare Danger lies near, waiting there Broken heart, raw flesh laid bare Shock you with this scrawny fight Let His love light up the night I know you hate it when I'm right Your bark made dents but not your bite Flagrant Flowing Stagnant Glowing Love forever strong and growing A book I never thought to write Dreamy Notions Murky Oceans Bottomless these strong emotions Autonomous is my respite Razor rip the reddened thread Tears that soak my weary bed Dirtied lace that left me dead Bruise my heel and crush his head Value for the Victory Arms of hope entangle me broken cord that set me free all that I was meant to be City set upon a hill Die to live, i ...

Wrestling October 13, 2010 at 12:14pm Tie it tighter behind her head She always was a fighter make her pay for what she said light her Truth on fire Bind the bonds behind her back make the wrists bleed slowly she'll never run, but she'll fight back she thinks she's strong and holy Mock her while she struggles Kick her while she's down hold the one who stumbles pin him to the ground. I've seen you in my past I've seen you in his eyes I know this cannot last so familiar with your lies Rip the covering, cut the head swarmed by vultures, left for dead never doubt the fire the gold has been refined dragged out of the mire I won't leave you behind Darkness twists the present's grasp all your views are tainted keyhole vision, afraid to ask cowardice inflated. When all has been exerted the countdown has been laid the truth has be...

A hill and a sled A four-poster bed A two-sided black iron fireplace Old pocket doors Hard wooden floors an old banister wrapped 'round a staircase A sparkling river an old grand's sweet timbre the music rain plays on roof's tin The orchard it beckons my children the ruins of a greenhouse' gone days and dreams that I used to be lost in manifest now in these ways And as I draw near the solo I hear played on the wind in the trees A mournful, soft song A melody strong that strains on the soft evening breeze: "Show me the patience that love is Promise I'll not be alone Home is where all of my heart lives willingly claimed as his own" Evenings of music and laughter the echo of "happily ever after" sung in the rustling leaves It won't mean a thing these melodies ring the bluebird's song sing without you, this house not a home "Show me the kindness that love is Forgive and forget my mistake Home i...

This needed to be reposted.....if I need to read it again then so do you. Faint with weight of apathy Your heart it waits to cradle me and in the faintest light I see the image of all I was made to be Never dawning as I hoped light would Always running from what I never understood asking why this crash of destiny I tried to bear  responsibility And there you are my Master Do you still wait for me? There you are my Lover Still, I see Your longing. You refuse my backward glance You won't allow the faith of happenstance You settle for the future and promise it secure You paint a fuller picture and quiet every fear And there you are my Faithful Friend The only One that's constant The  Strength of Love that will not end awakes a heart despondent Filling every empty hole drawing me with push and pull making ways where none could see extending every help to me It seemed once i was worthy untarnished by this pain Then, Your love was burning Yet now; the bluest flame I find it hard ...

It hurts It's how you know it's real Not everything works even when you're sure it will

You devilish brute I cannot understand you Sometimes you seem a complete alien to me like a creature from another planet gruff and grating in the voice but with a softness around the eyes and a loud and often foul mouth that betrays your strong exterior and makes you susceptible to your ever-brooding sinful nature. You cave to that nature more than most women...or maybe you are less capable of hiding it than we are.   Lies have never suited men as well as they do women, but that doesn't keep them from foolishly trying over and over again.  You've lost my trust and for very, very good reason. You can't even tell when you lie anymore. You don't even notice. an exterior that seems almost animal-like...with the rough beard that can wound a woman's delicate skin if she gets close enough to try to see and feel who you really are, as if for protection from a beast, or a prodding heart, or an empathetic tenderness, lest your eyes betray your weakness onc...